Too Invested to Leave

You are not confused about the relationship. You are confused about how to leave one you have already paid so much for.

You can list every reason to go. You have listed them at two in the morning for years. Then you think about the time, the house, the friends, your thirties, and something in you says the same sentence it always says.

I have already given him too much to walk away now.

That sentence is not loyalty. It is one of the best documented errors in human decision making, and it has kept intelligent, capable women in place for decades.

Drawing on research from decision science and relationship psychology, Too Invested to Leave explains why unhappy people stay, why one warm weekend resets your resolve every time, why a promise costs him nothing and buys him six months, and why the certainty you keep waiting for is never going to arrive before you act.

Inside you will learn how to:

• Recognise sunk cost reasoning and take the false debt off your back


• Understand the three forces that decide whether people stay, only one of which is happiness


• Tell the difference between a promise and a plan, and stop paying in advance


• Count the next five years instead of defending the last twelve


• Test honestly whether things can change, in ninety days rather than nine more years


• Decide while you are clear, and hold that decision through the weeks when you are not


• Leave properly if you go, and stay on real terms if you stay

Twenty chapters, each ending with a written exercise, plus a full set of worksheets you can work through again afterwards.

This book will not tell you what to do. It removes the fallacy holding the pen, so that whatever you decide is finally yours.

The years behind you are gone either way. The only question left is the next ones.

Scroll up and start reading today.