Shades of Emotion

A life-changing journey through postpartum mental illness, motherhood, and the search for self-worth.
What happens when becoming the mother you always wanted to be forces you to confront the parts of yourself you have spent a lifetime trying to control?
May Young was accustomed to striving, achieving, and holding herself to high standards. A healthcare professional, wife, and mother, she had built a life that reflected years of determination and hard work. However, after the birth of her second child, her world began to unravel. A period of postpartum anxiety and emotional distress escalated into a profound mental health crisis marked by depression, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, and psychosis.
What followed was a frightening, disorienting journey through psychiatric hospitalizations, residential treatment, and repeated attempts to regain stability. As May struggled to understand what was happening to her, her family faced the uncertainty of watching someone they loved become almost unrecognizable.
Yet the crisis did not begin with motherhood. Looking back, May examines the childhood experiences, cultural expectations, perfectionism, and deeply ingrained beliefs about success and self-worth that shaped her sense of who she needed to be. Through the most difficult months of her life, she begins to question the narratives that have governed her choices and to realize that healing may require more than returning to who she was before.
In Shades of Emotion: The Unraveling of Self in Becoming a Mother, May Young offers an honest, intimate account of an experience that is often misunderstood and too rarely discussed openly. She explores the complexities of postpartum mental illness without reducing her experience to a diagnosis or presenting recovery as a straightforward path. Her story makes room for fear, uncertainty, family devotion, setbacks, and the gradual rediscovery of meaning in everyday life.
This memoir explores:

• The often-misunderstood realities of postpartum mental illness and psychosis.
• The relationship between perfectionism, identity, and the pressure to meet impossible expectations.
• The emotional impact of psychiatric treatment, hospitalization, and the search for effective support.
• The importance of family, advocacy, and connection during periods of profound vulnerability.
• The difficult but liberating process of separating personal worth from professional achievement, motherhood, and mental health diagnoses.