Her Conscience

Star is a different type of girl. Ever since she got detached from her divorced, emotionally unavailable parents, she's been filling up her quiet, lonely world with music and dancing. She's practically a musical prodigy at 16 and music can't possibly be taken away from her. The only people she's ever been really close to are her psycho, over enthusiastic bff's. They're the only people she can tolerate anyway. That's until one fateful day when she meets a cocky, narcissistic, though really cute guy at her favourite fro yo shop who gets under her skin for just being himself. She absolutely detests guys like him. Absolutely gorgeous, frustratingly charming, cocky as hell and shockingly talented at music. That's right. Star discovers that this seemingly unbearable guy loves music almost as much as she does and just that single fact makes her heart soften a little so she lets her guard down for just a tiny bit. But after that one moment that she decides to let it down, she realises that she can't get it back up again. She discovers she can actually feel things and once she acknowledges this, her whole world is completely changed from the quiet, peaceful, drama free life she has always been used to into a series of drama, heartbreak, tears, broken trusts and friendships. "All of my past, I tried to erase it.But now I see, would I even change it?"....

I think everything started when I was five years old and my parents got divorced. Even before that they never really behaved like my parents. They were barely around. They had a lot of money so I lived comfortably but that really didn't matter because they never really cared about me. They didn't care about my hobbies, my feelings, my stories of kids from kindergarten, the new picture book I just finished...they just weren't there.

And I was an only child so most of the time, I felt really lonely. No one in school wanted to be friends with me. I was too shy and and so I barely spoke. They all thought I was weird. The teachers always thought there was something wrong with me. On the rare occasions that they were able to see my parents, they'll try to tell them about me. My parents would nod and smile but they wouldn't say anything to me. On the drive home they'll tell me, "Ashley, try to be me more outspoken." and that was it.

It wasn't my fault. I tried but it wasn't easy. I'll want to tell them this but I was too shy and scared. They might yell if I try to tell them why I can't do something, just like they always do. They didn't understand. No one understood me. I didn't hate my parents, but...I didn't love them either. They were just my parents.