Classic Cars For Boring Bastards

CLASSIC CARS FOR BORING BASTARDS

THE PERFECT FUNNY GIFT FOR CLASSIC CAR LOVERS, VINTAGE CAR ENTHUSIASTS AND MEN WHO LOVE THEIR RUSTY OLD BANGERS MORE THAN THEIR OWN WIVES!

Do you know someone who spends every weekend in the garage, owns seventeen broken carburettors and insists that his forty-year-old MG is a fantastic investment?

Someone who's been restoring the same Triumph since 1998?

Someone who can talk for three hours about the correct factory specification of a Morris Minor but can't remember his own wedding anniversary?

Or perhaps you're that boring bastard yourself?

WELCOME TO CLASSIC CARS FOR BORING BASTARDS!

From the hilariously rude THE USELESS GIT GUIDES series comes a laugh-out-loud British humour book dedicated to the wonderful, ridiculous and financially disastrous world of classic car ownership.

Whether you're obsessed with MGs, Triumphs, Morris Minors, Minis, Jaguars, vintage Land Rovers or any other beautiful old money pit, this gloriously sarcastic guide takes the piss out of everything that makes classic car enthusiasts so wonderfully unbearable.

INSIDE THIS HILARIOUSLY RUDE BOOK:

• 20 laugh-out-loud tips covering classic car restoration, rust, breakdowns, car shows, polishing, spare parts and spending a bloody fortune on old bangers.

• The 10 Most Annoying Classic Car Owners You'll Ever Meet – including the Restoration Bullshitter, the Originality Police, the Car Show Bore and the bloke who insists his rusty wreck is worth £40,000.

• The Ultimate Classic Car Boring Bastard Quiz – discover whether you're a perfectly normal enthusiast or a financially ruined, marriage-threatening, fully qualified classic car bore.

• Outrageous British sarcasm, rude observations and painfully accurate jokes about the people who devote their lives to cars that occasionally start.

THE PERFECT GIFT FOR:

Classic car enthusiasts and vintage car collectors.

Dads, grandads, husbands and boyfriends who spend their lives tinkering in the garage.

MG, Triumph, Morris Minor, Mini and Jaguar enthusiasts.

Men who love classic car shows, restoration projects and collecting spare parts they'll never use.

Wives and partners who've spent years hearing the words "It'll be finished by next summer."

Anyone searching for a funny Christmas present, birthday gift, Father's Day gift, stocking filler or Secret Santa present for a car-obsessed bloke.

THIS IS NOT A SERIOUS CLASSIC CAR RESTORATION MANUAL!

If you're looking for instructions on rebuilding a gearbox, repairing a rotten chassis or fixing Lucas electrics, you've come to the wrong bloody place.

This is a comedy gift book for classic car lovers who can laugh at themselves – and for the long-suffering people who have to live with them.

Because owning a classic car isn't just a hobby.

It's a lifelong commitment to rust, financial ruin, oily driveways and explaining to complete strangers why your 1972 Triumph is better than anything manufactured today.

Even though it hasn't started since Thursday.

THE PERFECT LITTLE BOOK FOR THE BIGGEST CLASSIC CAR BORE YOU KNOW!

A hilariously rude novelty gift from THE USELESS GIT GUIDES by Ivan Attitude Problem.

WARNING: Contains strong language, excessive sarcasm and absolutely no sympathy for men who spend £15,000 restoring a car worth £4,000.